


accio firewhiskey

by pilates_drunk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (aka obvius self inserts), Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Original Character(s), im not sorry, literally just a shipost in fic form, such a crack fic, super short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 06:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14539155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pilates_drunk/pseuds/pilates_drunk
Summary: this is a love story. there will be no romance, only booze and silliness.





	accio firewhiskey

The story starts in a Hogwarts common room, when a rather tall Hufflepuff and a rather passionate Gryffindor strike up a conversation and end up talking for like half an hour. This first chapter ends rather abruptly, when the Gryffindor asks the Hufflepuff if she’d like to go out to a bar or a concert or something, but the Hufflepuff can’t because she’s not 21 yet. This sounds like it should be the setup to some joke—“So, a Gryffindor asks a Hufflepuff to go to a bar…”—but it’s not. Don’t worry. The story will have lots of laughter anyway. 

The Gryffindor and the Hufflepuff developed a beautiful inter-house friendship, lasting long beyond their Hogwarts years out of necessity because the stupid Gryffindor had to go and take her N.E.W.T.’s and graduate two years before the Hufflepuff will. This friendship largely involved the two turning up at Castle Ass (a welcoming Wizarding home that hosts the best parties), hanging out at the Gryffindor’s apartment to drink wine and talk about books they can’t really afford but are probably going to buy anyway, and accidentally (if you’re the Hufflepuff) ignoring the other’s owls because someone really needs to buy the Hufflepuff a Remembrall.  
One day, the Gryffindor was finishing up her shift at Flourish and Blotts, when the door opened. 

“Jesus fuck, don’t these assholes know that ‘open til 6’ doesn’t mean you’re allowed to come in at 5:59?,” she said to herself.

“How may I help you?,” she said out loud, turning around and smiling with more teeth than was strictly necessary. 

“Is that any way to greet me?,” a very tall Hufflepuff replied.

“WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE COULDN’T YOU HAVE OWLED OR FLOO’ED ME OR AT LEAST SENT ONE OF THOSE WEIRD TALKING PATRONUS THINGS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I LOVE YOU BUT STILL, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO VISIT TWO WEEKS AGO WHAT THE HELL???”

(In her defense, the Hufflepuff had left her Floo powder and her trusty owl in a Portkey two weeks ago and so had to take the fucking subway all the way to Queens and back like 3 times the day she and the Gryffindor were supposed to meet, and hadn’t yet mastered the weird talking Patronus thing, but still. She had missed her friend dearly.) 

The tall Hufflepuff simply laughed, because she knew the passionate Gryffindor would read this story on AO3 sometime in the future and would hopefully understand her lack of communication, and pulled out two bottles of wine and some Chocolate Frogs. 

“Oh, alright, I guess you’re forgiven. It’s a damn good thing too, I have so much to tell you!”

**Author's Note:**

> apparently im only posting here when i write things for inakindofdaydream and im not sorry.  
> (im a little sorry for leaving my phone in that lyft and missing my visit to you at work, but what can u do besides die bitter?)


End file.
